In twenty days, my daughter, Olivia, will leave for Mongolia, where she will ride in a 600-mile horse race that will take place over 10 days.
They call this race the longest & toughest horse race in the world.
If you want to follow Olivia, I’ll post a link where you can see her progress via GPS in real time. If you want to know more about the race, you can go here: https://equestrianists.com/mongol-derby. It is fascinating to read about the details of the race.
Please pray for her. Don’t just pray for her safety; pray that she will be salt and light in a dark corner of the world. Mongolia is only 2% Christian. She asks that you would pray for opportunities for her to share her faith creatively. It is against the law in Mongolia to give religious gifts, so some of our initial strategies for sharing the gospel are not allowed. You can pray for opportunities as she races.
Her goal is to complete all 600 miles unassisted, which means that she will never have to call for help and will have to stay attached to her horse for all 600 miles.
When I tell people that Olivia is riding in this race, one of the first questions I always get is: How do you feel about your daughter going to Mongolia and doing this? My answer is this: How do you think I feel? I’m like any other dad. I want my kids to be healthy and safe, like every parent wants their kids to be, and this race holds the potential to be neither healthy nor safe.
But here is something I learned a long time ago about my role as a dad to my daughters: It is not my job to get them to be like me. It’s not my job as their dad to get them to do the things I would choose to do. They have their own personalities and their own dreams, and God is leading them down a unique path into their unique lives.
It is my job, however, as their dad, to prepare them for the things God has for them. To prepare them for the future He has for them, not the future I necessarily would design for them, because what God has for them may be different from what I would choose for them.
I wouldn’t say I’m perfect at this, but I do try and live by this principle: not to attempt to fit my daughters into a prefabricated mold that I’ve designed for them. But it’s hard sometimes. I think there is something in our nature that wants the people around us to be like us, to think like us, and to act like us.
I see it in parents, marriages, friendships, and within the church, where it is especially problematic. We are constantly trying to change people into our image. What is it within us that wants others to see everything the way we see it and conform to our opinions and perspectives?
Paul has been answering this question since chapter 1 of Romans. Remember, the purpose of this letter was to bring the church in Rome together because there was division over issues that paled in comparison to the importance of the gospel message. The Jewish Christians in the church in Rome didn’t like the way the non-Jewish Christians were behaving, and so they were trying to get them to conform to their idea of how they should behave.
Paul tells us again to focus on the gospel message instead of these peripheral issues. Instead of arguing over peripheral issues, the gospel message empowers us to do the most important thing: love God and love people.
Since chapter 12, Paul has been showing us what it looks like to love God and love people.
He shows us what that looks like when he talks about loving your brothers and sisters in Christ. He also talks about what loving people outside God’s family looks like. For example, instead of seeking revenge when someone hurts you or does you wrong, pray for their blessing. He even talks about our relationship with those in authority over us, like those who lead our nation, our state, and our city.
Now, Paul will continue on the same thread, talking about how we, as members of God’s family, are to love people well, even when we don’t agree.
The title of my sermon today is Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff.
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Rom 14:1-4 (CSB)—Welcome anyone who is weak in faith, but don’t argue about disputed matters. One person believes he may eat anything, while one who is weak eats only vegetables. One who eats must not look down on one who does not eat, and one who does not eat must not judge one who does, because God has accepted him. Who are you to judge another’s household servant? Before his own Lord he stands or falls. And he will stand, because the Lord is able to make him stand.
What is fueling this dispute over who eats meat and who doesn’t? We’re not sure exactly, but one probable possibility is that it is because of the practice of buying and selling meat in places called “shambles.” Shambles were open-air markets that sold the best cuts of meat for the lowest price. The owners of these shambles could keep their prices low because their meat was “second-hand,” since it had already been offered to pagan idols as a sacrifice.
Whatever the reason, Paul was aware of the tendency of some of the brothers and sisters in the Roman church to question the sincerity or spirituality of others within God’s family.
You may have had a similar experience. Perhaps you’ve had some “super spiritual” person look down their nose at you and try and heap shame on you for some inconsequential matter that is based on man-made rules that someone thinks make you more spiritual. If that’s you, I hope you find peace from what Paul says here.
Paul says to welcome those who are weak in their faith or those less developed in their faith. Who are those who are weak in their faith? The weak brother, we will see, is the one who seems to be the most morally upright, the one who is most rigid in discipline and appears to have the highest standards of conduct.
The more legalistic and uptight someone is, the less developed in their faith they are. It’s not those who walk around looking down their noses and following a list of do’s and don’ts that are the stronger Christians. The opposite is true. “Welcome anyone who is weak in faith,” Paul says. “Receive the one who is religious, the one who’s uptight, the one who’s always looking down on others. Don’t argue with him—just understand he’s a weaker brother.”
This may shock some of you, but I don’t think God cares about many of the things we get upset about, fight over, and debate. God’s agenda is a whole lot different from ours. Sad to say, the things that often get us riled up are insignificant compared to the bigger issues of eternity.
Rom 14:3 (CSB)—One who eats must not look down on one who does not eat, and one who does not eat must not judge one who does, because God has accepted him.
We become so engaged in minuscule rules and regulations, political discussions, and theological hairsplitting that we miss the big picture. Again, I’m convinced God doesn’t care about most of the things we discuss endlessly. He’s concerned about people giving their lives to Christ, becoming a part of His family, learning to walk in the Spirit, and growing in grace—in other words, loving God and loving people.
So, why not judge? Paul tells us why in the following verses:
Rom 14:4 (CSB)—Who are you to judge another’s household servant? Before his own Lord he stands or falls. And he will stand, because the Lord is able to make him stand.
1. Judgement is not our job.
Who am I to judge the Lord’s servant? I will not be accountable for your actions before the Lord. I will not be accountable for the lives or the decisions the people around me make. It is not my role; it is not my job to judge others, that role is reserved for God. To judge others, Paul says, is to assume God’s role.
In verse 10, Paul says this:
Rom 14:10-12 (CSB)—But you, why do you judge your brother or sister? Or you, why do you despise your brother or sister? For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God. For it is written, As I live, says the Lord, every knee will bow to me, and every tongue will give praise to God. So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God.
“We need to stop thinking that our primary duty to our fellow Christians is to critique them. It’s not. Our primary duty is to love them.”
—Francis Chan
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Now, I want you to push pause for a moment on that thought, and I want to point out that there is a difference between judgment over disputed matters and discernment. Just because we don’t judge people over disputable matters does not mean we overlook sin or water down the truth.
In Matthew 7, Jesus tells us not to judge in this often-quoted passage of scripture.
Matt 7:1-2 (CSB)—“Do not judge, so that you won’t be judged. For you will be judged by the same standard with which you judge others, and you will be measured by the same measure you use.
But a few verses later, Jesus says to watch out for false prophets who come to you in sheep’s clothing and that you’ll know these false prophets by their fruit.
So that is an example of “good judgment” or discernment.
We also should understand sin and its destructiveness. We should understand what the Bible calls sin because sin is contrary to the character of God.
Murder is a sin because God is our creator, and only he gives and takes life. Adultery is a sin because God is faithful to His promises, and so should we be faithful to our promises. Lying is a sin because God is truth, and as we become more like Jesus, that means we should be committed to the truth.
Paul also says that if we love someone, we are obligated to call out the destructive things in their lives.
Gal 6:1-2 (CSB)—Brothers and sisters, if someone is overtaken in any wrongdoing, you who are spiritual, restore such a person with a gentle spirit,, watching out for yourselves so that you also won’t be tempted. Carry one another’s burdens; in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.
Loving people this way is the way of Jesus. That is why Paul tells the Ephesians to speak the truth but do it in love.
There is a difference between looking down your nose and hypocritical, non-forgiving judgment, which Paul is talking about in Rom 14, and using good discernment and a commitment to the clear moral truth of scripture.
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Paul says that the first kind of judgment is not our job, and then he says, don’t judge because:
2. Our judgment lacks perspective.
Rom 14:5-7 (CSB)—One person judges one day to be more important than another day. Someone else judges every day to be the same. Let each one be fully convinced in his own mind. Whoever observes the day, observes it for the honor of the Lord. Whoever eats, eats for the Lord, since he gives thanks to God; and whoever does not eat, it is for the Lord that he does not eat it, and he gives thanks to God. For none of us lives for himself, and no one dies for himself.
We lack perspective. We don’t always know what is going on in someone else’s heart or life, and we certainly don’t know what God has planned for that person’s future.
37 years ago, before Stacey and I were married, we were working at the Cannon Beach Conference Center. One day, the director of the conference center called Stacey and me into her office and chastised us for spending so much time together. She said we should spend time with other people. “No one ever marries their high school sweetheart,” she said.
I have two words for that director, 35 years. That’s right, 35 years of marriage to my high school sweetheart.
She had some harsh, judgmental words for Stacey and me, but she lacked perspective and certainly underestimated my tenacity in convincing Stacey to marry me.
I think these words from C.S Lewis are words to live by.
Don’t judge a man by where he is, because you don’t know how far he has come.
—C. S. Lewis
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Paul then says there is someone you should judge.
3. Judge yourself.
Rom 14:13-15 (CSB)—Therefore, let us no longer judge one another. Instead decide never to put a stumbling block or pitfall in the way of your brother or sister. I know and am persuaded in the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself. Still, to someone who considers a thing to be unclean, to that one it is unclean. For if your brother or sister is hurt by what you eat, you are no longer walking according to love. Do not destroy, by what you eat, someone for whom Christ died.
In other words, you have freedom and liberty in Christ to do a great number of things. However, if what you are doing is going to cause someone else to struggle, don’t do it.
If you are going to judge someone, judge yourself. Instead of worrying about and judging everyone else, pay close attention to your own actions, especially how your actions affect other people.
If what you do somehow makes someone else struggle in their walk with Christ, don’t do it. You might have the freedom to chomp down a big piece of meat, Paul says, but don’t do it in a way or at a place where the weaker brother, the legalist, the vegetarian will be offended, turned off, or uptight.
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Finally, Paul ends with this reminder:
4. Instead of judgment, let’s build up.
Rom 15:1-2, 7-9a, 13 (CSB)—Now we who are strong have an obligation to bear the weaknesses of those without strength, and not to please ourselves. Each one of us is to please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. Therefore, welcome one another, just as Christ also welcomed you, to the glory of God. For I say that Christ became a servant of the circumcised on behalf of God’s truth, to confirm the promises to the fathers, and so that Gentiles may glorify God for his mercy. Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you believe so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Unfortunately, the church is sometimes known for having a hypocritical, look-down-the-nose attitude toward people we don’t agree with. Instead of letting people know what we disagree with them about, let’s let the world know what we love. Let’s flip the script, and instead of pointing out all the little, inconsequential points of difference, let’s celebrate what God has done for us and the hope that He has given us by the power of the Holy Spirit.
To our brothers and sisters in Christ and to those who are not yet a part of the body of Christ.
When your heart is ablaze with the love of God, when you love other people – especially the ripsnorting sinners – so much that you dare to tell them about Jesus with no apologies, then never fear, there will be results.
—Catherine Marshall
Instead of judging those God has placed in our path, let us look for ways to build up, encourage, and most of all, share the message about a God who loves them, even in their mess, so much that He sent his one and only Son so that anyone who would believe in Him would have eternal life.
Let’s not sweat the small stuff. Instead, let’s be known for the message and the power of the gospel..
Questions to Consider:
- Have you been guilty of judging others? Ask God how to change that pattern in your life.
- Have you felt judged? Forgive those who judged you and ask God for perspective on their actions.
- Judge your own life. Are there things in your life that may be causing others to stumble? Ask God to help you be more mindful of those things and help you bring change where change is needed.
Chris Hankel 
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