Strategies of the Enemy – Shame

All of humanity has an enemy and he is an enemy with a strategy.

No, your enemy is not the government, your boss, your annoying neighbor or even your spouse.

Eph 6:12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers of this darkness, against evil, spiritual forces in the heavens.

The ultimate goal of this enemy is to possess humanity’s loyalty.

If you don’t know or follow Jesus, he wants to keep it that way.  He wants your loyalty to be directed to him, not to the God who loves you.  

If you are a Jesus follower, the enemy has no real power over you or over your eternal destiny.  If you have trusted Jesus for the forgiveness of your sin, you have received God’s free gift of eternal life then nothing, including the Devil, can change that.

Because He cannot change your eternal destiny, his goal is to keep you ineffective when it comes to doing the will of your Heavenly Father so you cannot bring glory to God.

If we can recognize the strategies of our enemy, it will help us avoid some of the traps that He sets for us that can keep us ineffective.  

1 Peter 5:8 – Be sober-minded, be alert. Your adversary the devil is prowling around like a roaring lion, looking for anyone he can devour.

The implication is that he cannot just devour anyone; he must look for whom he may devour. Our enemy is looking for what He can get away with—how big a lie He can get you to believe, how discouraged He can get you to be, how many lies He can get you to believe about yourself, and how many lies He can get you to believe about God. Lies are the only power that the enemy has, and

 Lies are powerful only if you believe them.

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What is the first and one of the most effective tactics the enemy uses against us?

SHAME

It is easy to get guilt and shame confused so I want to start by talking about the difference between guilt and shame.

Guilt vs. Shame

Guilt is action based but Shame is identity based.

Guilt causes us to believe, “I did something bad.”

Shame causes us to believe, “I am bad.”

We feel guilty for what we did. We feel shame for who we are.

We feel shame when the enemy tells us lies about who we are, it messes with our identity. This is why shame is an effective tool in the enemy’s strategy.  

Shame is a soul-eating emotion.

Carl Gustav Jung

Our identity, or, who we believe we are, how we see ourselves, is foundational in our relationship with God.

That is why if you go into the hallway and you see our four values on the wall, the very first value is identity.

When you give your life to Christ, what is one of the first things God the Father does in you?  He gives you a new identity.

• You were lost but now you are found
• You are adopted into God’s family and now your are His son or daughter.
• You were destined for destruction by now you’ve been given eternal life.
• You are chosen.
• You are forgiven.
• You were sinners but now you are saints.

Do you still sometimes sin?  Yes, but that doesn’t change who you are.

The word saint means holy one.

Eph 1:1 – Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus by God’s will: To the faithful saints in Christ Jesus at Ephesus.

Paul addresses nearly every one (except Galatians) of his epistles to “the saints”.  Because of what Jesus did for us on the cross, that is who we are even though we still wrestle with sin.

Shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging – something we’ve experienced, done, or failed to do makes us unworthy of connection.

Brené Brown

Maybe it is your debt, your sexual past, your sexual present, an addiction, something you did years ago, something you did or said to someone.

Maybe it is something that was done to you that is the cause of shame.  You were abused or taken advantage of in some way.

Whatever it is, the result can be this feeling that you are defective: damaged, broken, flawed, dirty, ugly, impure, disgusting.

The enemy has been whispering for years that you are unlovable, weak, pitiful, insignificant, unworthy, and unwanted.  This shame is keeping you from being the person God has designed you to be, created you to be.

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What are some of the effects of shame?

1. Shame isolates us.

Gen 2:25 – Both the man and his wife were naked, yet felt no shame.

Now, what happens after Adam and Eve eat from the tree and betray their loyalty to God?

Gen 3:8-10 – Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the LORD God walking in the garden at the time of the evening breeze, and they hid from the LORD God among the trees of the garden. 9 So the LORD God called out to the man and said to him, “Where are you?” 10 And he said, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked, so I hid.”

The enemy has decieved the man and the woman, shame has entered the human race, and how do they respond?  They hide.

Shame isolates us because we are afraid if anyone knew the truth about us, they would judge us and then turn their back on us, confirming our deepest fear, that we are unloveable, not worthy of connection.  

2. Shame makes us vulnerable to perfectionism.

We attempt to silence our shame with perfect performance and we find it difficult to admit failure.  Maybe if we just try harder, we will be acceptable and we will be worthy.  Before we know it we have invested an entire lifetime into trying to be perfect because we have never recognized shame for the lie that it is.

Perfectionism is a self destructive and addictive belief system that fuels this primary thought: If I look perfect, and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of shame, judgment, and blame.

Brené Brown

3. Shame can create a critical spirit.

We are critical of ourselves, which drives us to become critical of others.

Shamed people shame people. We hate in others the very sin that we see in ourselves.  

This critical spirit causes us to think, “My flaws and failures make me unworthy of love, belonging, and connection.  I deserve disconnection and punishment.  So does everyone else with flaws and failures.

Ultimately, by holding on to shame, we are giving the enemy power over us and over our lives.  The enemy doesn’t do this to us, we allow it because we believe the lies. It makes us ineffective as we attempt to love God and love others because we have allowed this lie to shape what we do.

How do we deal with shame?  We identify the dark lie and then we shine the light on it.

Many examples in scripture show us the truth about how God sees us and feels about us.

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One is in Jn 4.  It is the story of Jesus’ encounter with the Samaritan woman at the well.

Jesus is in the countryside of Judea and decides to travel back to Galilee.  To get there, they must travel through Samaria.  Who are the Samaritans?  Back when the Assyrians conquered Israel, many, but not all Israelites were carried off into captivity.  The ones who stayed behind ended up marrying non-Jews and continued their lives.  These are the Samaritans.  Jews typically did not associate with Samaritans.  

Jesus and the disciples stop in a Samaritan town called Sychar. The Disciples go to find some food while Jesus waits.

Jn 4:6-7 – Jacob’s well was there, and Jesus, worn out from his journey, sat down at the well. It was about noon. A woman of Samaria came to draw water. “Give me a drink,” Jesus said to her,

Normally women came to draw water in the mornings and the evenings.  Why was this woman here at noon?  Most likely because she was an outcast.  Someone who was not accepted in polite social circles. 

Jn 4:9-10 – How is it that you, a Jew, ask for a drink from me, a Samaritan woman?” she asked him. For Jews do not associate with Samaritans. Jesus answered, “If you knew the gift of God, and who is saying to you, ‘Give me a drink,’ you would ask him, and he would give you living water.

The woman is surprised that Jesus, a man and a Jewish Rabi to boot, would converse with her.  You can just sense in her response that she is very aware of her place.  She is very cognizant that this is a strange conversation because she is a Samaritan woman but also a woman with a shameful secret.

Jn 4:13-18 – Jesus said, “Everyone who drinks from this water will get thirsty again. But whoever drinks from the water that I will give him will never get thirsty again. In fact, the water I will give him will become a well, of water springing up in him for eternal life.”

“Sir,” the woman said to him, “give me this water so that I won’t get thirsty and come here to draw water.”

“Go call your husband,” he told her, “and come back here.”

“I don’t have a husband,” she answered.

“You have correctly said, ‘I don’t have a husband,’ ” Jesus said.  “For you’ve had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have said is true.”

Do you see what Jesus is doing here?  He is gently drawing her in, offering her living water.  When Jesus reveals her shameful secret, married 5 times, shacking up with a guy right now, He does not shame her.  He didn’t delve into her codependency or her past sin. Yes, Jesus revealed her sin—but He didn’t revel in it.

Then, after some more conversation, Jesus drops a bombshell.

Jn 4:24-26 – God is spirit, and those who worship him must worship in Spirit and in truth.” The woman said to him, “I know that the Messiah is coming” (who is called Christ). “When he comes, he will explain everything to us.” Jesus told her, “I, the one speaking to you, am he.”

This is the first time Jesus says, “I am the Messiah.”  

Who is the first person he chooses to reveal this to?  An ostracized woman who is part of a marginalized people group carrying around bucketloads of shame.  

Jesus invites her in and then shares something that He has not revealed to anyone else.  “I, the one speaking to you, am he.”

This is how Jesus deals with us and our shame.

In His encounter with this woman, Jesus shows grace and truth. I love Him for that because that’s the way He deals with me. With grace and truth.  He does not intend for us to carry our shame.  He deals with our sins and removes our shame.

Heb 12:1-2 – Therefore, since we also have such a large cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us lay aside every hindrance and the sin that so easily ensnares us. Let us run with endurance the race that lies before us, 2 keeping our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of our faith. For the joy that lay before him, he endured the cross, despising the shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Despising the shame or disregarding it. Jesus chose to disregard or ignore the shame and disgrace that the cross would bring to Him. He let Himself be despised by humans as He took upon Himself all the sins of the world. Imagine the horror the sinless, spotless Lamb of God must have felt! Yet Jesus chose to disregard or despise the shame of the cross. He obediently finished the work that God had given Him to do … so that the words of Paul in Rom 8:1 would be true.

Rom 8:1-2 – Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus, 2 because the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and death.

The only way to heal from shame is to stop believing the lies of the enemy about who you are, and move the focus to who Christ is. Shine the light on who Christ is

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Though you’ve been forgiven by Jesus many of you still live with shame.

You are still believing you are something that God says you are not

Because of Christ, you are worthy of love! The cross was for you!

Jesus looked thru time and saw you, knowing if he endured the shame, you could be free!

It gave him joy—Joy set before him

Endured cross—Scorning its shame—So he could tell you

You are

• Not what you did.
• Not what you do.
• Not what someone did to you.
• Not who others think you are.
• Not who you think you are.
• You are who Christ says you are!

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In Christ you are

• Free
• Forgiven
• Changed
• Redeemed
• Healed
• Blessed
• Chosen
• Complete
• Accepted

Question:

Is there sin in my life that I need to confess?  Confess the sin and receive the forgiveness Jesus won for you on the cross.

Release the shame and stop believing the lies the enemy tells you, and remember who you are in Christ.

Pray Romans 8:1-2

God I know there is now no condemnation for me because of Christ.  Thank you that I’ve been set free from the power of sin and death.